Dear Big Sister…

Dear Big Sister,

Not sure how to tell you this, so I’m just going to blurt it out and get it over with.  You are hereby notified that you are no longer the absolute center of “grankas” universe.  Move over squirt.  You have a brother.

Yes, it’s true.  You have a brother.  No, it’s not true.  You are *still* the center of my universe … I love you so very much. I miss the sound of your laughter and the smiles that warm my heart.

As you embark on this new journey – I want you to remember that it is NOT ok to run across the room and smack the baby in the head like your Auntie did to your Mommy.  Lord knows we’ve all seen how that turned out.  It is not OK to place him on the top of a dresser by a window and encourage him to crawl out of the 2nd story window…. not saying that your Auntie ever did that to your Mommy, but I don’t know how else she would of gotten up there….

It is expected that you’ll be able to blame him for everything that goes wrong in the house.  But beware, he’ll blame you also.

Eventually, you’ll grow to love him… and the two of you will work together to rule the household.  While I concede that that is inevitable, I remind you now that works at your house… There is absolutely no need to do that at my house – you already rule with an iron fist at Granka’s.

I found it funny when your Auntie H, the former Crown Princess of the Throne, told me that you are upset and not willing to talk to your Evil Mommy since she brought your brother home.  You should forgive her now.  There will be so many other things to be upset with her about as you get older and you shouldn’t harp on this minor event.  Save it for a later, and probably more important, transgression.  Like when she tells you that you can’t get a tattoo with the name of your first boyfriend on your neck for the entire world to see.  That will be worth it… oh so much more worth it.

Remember that I’m proud of you.  Remember that Grandma Plaintiff is evil and out to get you.  Always be suspicious of the cookies or ice cream that Grandma Plaintiff gives you.  Ask Grandka to taste test them all first to make sure she’s not trying to poison you.  Remember that I love you.  You can always call Grandka.

Who you gonna call?  Grandka.

Grandpa Boltz


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