Three wisemen bearing gifts…


I’ve known for quite some time that my daughters were all innocent.  Sexually that is.  As pure as fresh snow. Imagine my shock and dismay when I learned that one of them had somehow managed to “become with child”.  ACK!  The horror of it all.  I screamed that the house wasn’t presentable for guests.  I ran to the front door and threw it open expecting to be blinded by the light of the north star and to be intimidated by the wise men approaching my porch bearing gifts.

The dog barked and plaintiff howled with laughter.  Not only where there no wise men within sight of my property (unless you count the garbage man who was emptying my trash), but there wasn’t even a street light shining on the property.

How could this of happened to my precious princess?  Could she truly of gotten pregnant from the toilet seat at the mall? Maybe it was from the quilt at Grandmas house?  OMG!  What kind of child would she be having?  What happens if it grows up to be a BEARS fan?  How will I ever tell my Mother? And what about the boy? Do we have to tell the boy?  Will he notice that she’s gained an extra pound or two?  Will he notice that she’s moody? Will he notice the crying in the middle of the night?

Besides, Plaintiff is too young to be a Grandma!


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