Dear Mommy Dearest,
I’m here with Grandma Plaintiff and Grandpa Boltz while you and Daddy Dearest go where ever it is that you two go to when you run away. I want you to know that I’m having the best time of my life here with Grandma Plaintiff and Grandpa Boltz. Grandpa lets me stay up REALLY late and he makes sure that Grandma has my bottle ready for me as soon as I want it. I’m beginning to understand the way the universe is supposed to work – it revolves around me. I no sooner think about whimpering and someone is here to entertain me, hug me, love me, squeeze me, run with me, feed me or play with me.
Yesterday I got to have another video chat with Nana. She’s a funny lady and I love her already. She likes how I’m kicking and holding my head up now. She almost didn’t recognize me!
This morning after breakfast, Grandpa is going to take me outside and show me the real Bloop and Loop instead of the ones you make me watch on TV. Grandma is kind of grumpy but Grandpa says that nobody will be able to find the body after were done hiding her. Do you play hide and seek with my daddy?
Last night after Grandpa fed me, he laid down next to me and played games with me because I didn’t want to go back to sleep. Did you know that he tells the funniest stories about you when you were a little girl? I can’t wait till I’m older and he tells me about how clean you used to keep your room, or how polite you were to him and Grandma Plaintiff. He says that he’ll even show me your report cards when I’m old enough. I can hardly wait!
The dog here is nothing like ours. She’s quiet and is scared of me. Already she realizes that I’m the new Queen of the house and am to be avoided. I can’t wait till I am able to hold onto her tail and let her try to drag me around the house.
I’m pretty sure that Grandma Plaintiff reads this, and I don’t want her to feel bad, but thank you for letting my first sleep over be with Grandpa. He’s the best!
Well, I’m getting hungry and need to go make noise so that Grandma Plaintiff gets me my breakfast.
Charlize and Grandpa Boltz
PS> Grandpa wants to know if I have a passport and if so where its kept, he’s thinking of taking me to the Bahamas.